


i have nothing

by ashadowonthewall



Category: Skins (UK)
Genre: Angst, Bromance, Ficathon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-29
Updated: 2012-09-29
Packaged: 2017-11-15 06:43:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/524250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashadowonthewall/pseuds/ashadowonthewall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the <a href="http://lesoleilluna.livejournal.com/46010.html">SKINS COMMENT FICATHON</a>, prompt was "i can't take care of you anymore".</p>
            </blockquote>





	i have nothing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [portions_forfox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/portions_forfox/gifts).



The shed looks so different since last time, and he can’t believe how long it’s been.

Cook knows it’s a bad idea to show up uninvited, but he’s off his face tonight and he doesn’t want to go back home.

He knows Freddie will disapprove, and it only takes the light creak of the door for the other boy to get up from the couch and start shouting at him.

“Jesus Christ, Cook, what are you doing?” Freddie barks, almost dropping his spliff. He’s got that look on is face again, a mixture of confusion and anger that quickly turns to sympathy when he notices the state of him, how pasted Cook is tonight.

Cook smiles, he thinks there might a slight chance that Freddie will let him crash for the night. Fuck knows it’ s been so long since the two of them exchanged anything but physical and verbal blows, over Effy of course. 

Maybe now that she’s gone the two of them can sit down and talk, have a spliff and be mates again, just like old times. 

It’s so naïve and Cook knows he wouldn’t pull this sort of thing if he were sober. He always does ridiculous and irrational things when he’s drunk; it’s one of the reasons why he likes to drinking so much. He knows he won’t have to deal with the consequences when he wakes up. 

Back in the day it used to be Freddie who got him out of trouble, but now he’s alone and it feels so weird, so unlike what he’s used to, he hates that feeling, it makes him angry, makes him want to punch the fuck out the nearest person to him. With Freddie he has control, because Freddie’s always there to take his hand, drag him away from whatever shit he’s got himself into.

He wants that feeling back, he misses it.

\--

There’s silence at first, and then Cook staggers toward him. He practically falls on top of Freddie but somehow manages to find his feet. He stares up at him, his hands on Freddie’s face, their noses pressed together the smell of alcohol, spliff and sweat filling the air. There’s sadness in Freddie’s eyes and Cook doesn’t notice at first but when he does, he feels his twisting inside, the way it did when Effy chose Freddie over him.

“I can’t take care of you anymore,” Freddie says, hanging his head down. “I need you to leave…now.”

He knew it was coming but he’s still shocked to hear it. 

“What the fuck?” he shouts, shoving Freddie as hard as he can. “Why? Because you have a fucking girlfriend now, is that it? You think you’re better than me?”

He knows he shouldn’t be angry with him, he knows he shouldn’t bring up Effy now, because Freddie’s lost her all the same. She’s gone overseas and left the two of them here to deal with each other and Cook knows he’s about to make a right cock of it.

Freddie lunges at him, just like the last time, grabbing him by the shirt and presses their faces together. It’s so familiar that Cook almost laughs; he knows he’ll earn a punch in the face if he does, so he tries to control himself. He’s too drunk to get into a fight, and it’s not what he came here for tonight. He keeps smiling though, his eyes still focused on Freddie, and that stupid fucking grimace on his face.

He does the first thing that comes naturally to him and grabs Freddie by the face, kissing him hard on the mouth.

The kiss doesn’t last long, but it’s enough for Freddie to push him away. He doesn’t wipe his mouth, doesn’t shoot him a look of disgust, only stands there looking confused and hurt. Freddie’s hands are shaking and his eyes are filling with tears. It’s then that Cook realizes how much of a mistake it was to come here tonight.

“I fucking hate you, you bastard” Freddie says, his voice weak and his eyes watery. “Effy’s gone for a week, and you decide to come back here all of a sudden? What the fuck do you want from me?”

Cook’s feels a pang of guilt in his gut, his heart sinks and he stands there speechless for a moment, thinking to himself. 

He’s not sure what it is he’s looking for. Forgiveness? Redemption? A second chance at a friendship he’d fucked up completely? It seems so easy to apologise and expect that Freddie will take him back every single time. He’s not so sure if that’s the case now.

“Get out!” Freddie says, “you can sleep on the streets for all I care.”

“Freds…”

“GO!”

And then he does. He walks away from the shed and the house, trying so hard not to scream, or vomit or collapse and cry. But it only takes a few steps down the road before he does just that. 

He truly has nothing and no one now. Just the way he thought he wanted.


End file.
